Ignore the Assholes of the Internet

Two forums that will have more angry, emotional trolls than any other site are MMA/combat sports forums and sex-related forums.

Dead serious. Just go to the Sherdog boards to see plenty of fight enthusiasts get over-emotional in their responses. Check out a place like the Literotica forums and see how acerbic and snarky everyone is, as well as being just as over-emotional in responses to trolls.

Stop responding to trolls, everybody. For fuck’s sake, you don’t have to. There’s no reason to. Unless you are bored and want to give some anonymous shmuck the thrill of riling you up, then go ahead.

Dumbshits get to be assholes online because there are no consequences to anything that’s said.

I don’t see the appeal.

Do First Loves Last Forever?

I firmly believe so.

Even today, I think about my first love. More often than I’d care to ever truly admit to anybody in person.

I could be at the grocery store and think of something that we did there before, see something we used to eat together, think about that one crazy time we had to come there on a rainy day. I could be driving down the highway and pass up the place where we took a detour.

I miss her. Well, I miss those times. I miss the way I was, I miss the way she was, I miss the way things were. The past.

First loves last forever.

Here is True Gender Equality

In its pure form, true gender equality:

Kathleen Lyday is my Heroine

I don’t care if Kathleen Lyday really wrote this or not. Whoever did is amazing:

Give this teacher and true American a standing ovation.
This 4th grade teacher has said it all, and she was brave enough to attach her name to it.

The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20500

Mr. Obama:
I have had it with you and your administration, sir. Your conduct on your recent trip overseas has convinced me that you are not an adequate representative of the United States of America collectively or of me personally.

You are so obsessed with appeasing the Europeans and the Muslim world that you have abdicated the responsibilities of the President of the United States of America . You are responsible to the citizens of the United States . You are not responsible to the peoples of any other country on earth.

I personally resent that you go around the world apologizing for the United States telling Europeans that we are arrogant and do not care about their status in the world. Sir, what do you think the First World War and the Second World War were all about if not the consideration of the peoples of Europe ? Are you brain dead? What do you think the Marshall Plan was all about? Do you not understand or know the history of the 20th century?

Where do you get off telling a Muslim country that the United States does not consider itself a Christian country? Have you not read the Declaration of Independence or the Constitution of the United States ? This country was founded on Judeo-Christian ethics and the principles governing this country, at least until you came along, come directly from this heritage. Do you not understand this?

Your bowing to the king of Saudi Arabia is an affront to all Americans. Our President does not bow down to anyone, let alone the king of Saudi Arabia …. You didn’t show Great Britain , our best and one of our oldest allies, the respect they deserve yet you bow down to the king of Saudi Arabia .. How dare you, sir! How dare you!

You can’t find the time to visit the graves of our greatest generation because you don’t want to offend the Germans but make time to visit a mosque in Turkey …… You offended our dead and every veteran when you give the Germans more respect than the people who saved the German people from themselves. What’s the matter with you? I am convinced that you and the members of your administration have the historical and intellectual depth of a mud puddle and should be ashamed of yourselves, all of you.

You are so self-righteously offended by the big bankers and the American automobile manufacturers yet do nothing about the real thieves in this situation, Mr. Dodd, Mr. Frank, Franklin Raines, Jamie Gorelic, the Fannie Mae bonuses, and the Freddie Mac bonuses. What do you intend to do about them? Anything? I seriously doubt it.

What about the U.S. House members passing out $9.1 million in bonuses to their staff members on top of the $2.5 million in automatic pay raises that lawmakers gave themselves? I understand the average House aide got a 17% bonus. I took a 5% cut in my pay to save jobs with my employer. You haven’t said anything about that. Who authorized that? I surely didn’t!
Executives at Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac will be receiving $210 million in bonuses over an eighteen-month period, that’s $45 million more than the AIG bonuses. In fact, Fannie and Freddie executives have already been awarded $51 million not a bad take. Who authorized that and why haven’t you expressed your outrage at this group who are largely responsible for the economic mess we have right now?

I resent that you take me and my fellow citizens as brain-dead and not caring about what you idiots do. We are watching what you are doing and we are getting increasingly fed up with all of you.

I also want you to know that I personally find just about everything you do and say to be offensive to every one of my sensibilities. I promise you that I will work tirelessly to see that you do not get a chance to spend two terms destroying my beautiful country.

Sincerely,
Every real American
P.S. I rarely ask that emails be ‘passed around’……………..PLEASE SEND THIS TO YOUR EMAIL LIST……it’s past time for all Americans to wake up!

Ms Kathleen Lyday
Fourth Grade Teacher
Grandview Elementary School
11470 Hwy . C
Hillsboro , MO 63050

(This woman may lose her job for this letter.. I believe we owe it to her for expressing the outrage that we feel but fail to address. Please pass this on.)

The Xbox One is Going to Make Me Broke. Why am I Buying it?

I haven’t touched a video game in months. I’ve been feeling like popping in Call of Duty: Black Ops 2, but I don’t feel like contending with teenage kids, so I’ve shied away from doing that.

Despite this, I preordered my day one edition of the Xbox One a couple of months ago and have already preordered Call of Duty: Ghosts, NBA 2K14, NBA Live ’14, Madden ’14 and Dead Rising 3.

That shit is going to suck my bank account dry. That’s $800 smackaroos right there, according to my calculations. Might be $860 or $920 if I decide to get Battlefield 4 or Forza 5.

I seriously can’t wait, though. I’m so pumped up. November 29th, if that’s the release date, is going to be one, sweet day.

(In before there’s errors like the red ring of death.)

If Hell Was Real, This is How I Would Imagine It Would Be Like

Imagine a big stove that stretches across a room or at least big enough for two people to get on top of.

Now, imagine putting all of the burners on high and lying stomach down on top of them, with the devil behind you penetrating your asshole with the handle of a cast iron skillet that’s been left in the oven on 500 for a couple of hours.

Yeah, hell, ladies and gentlemen.

The Type of Man a Woman Wants

Wanna know what type of guy a woman wants? Just look at her socio economic status. A tatted dude who weighs 100 lbs soaking wet can be pulling dimes regularly but those women probably don’t have much going for themselves or have low self esteem. Women are so fickle that there isn’t one general rule of thumb. I workout for my health and it keeps me young. Belly fat is a sign of low testosterone because as you get older that’s what happens, you get a gut and your testosterone levels drop.

If a woman can’t appreciate that you view your body as a temple, you eat healthy, no drugs/no alcohol, then fuck her. She just ain’t for you. Women are feminists these days. They want to get tatted up like dudes, drink like dudes, yet still be “princesses” and wonder why at 30 they’re aging so fast. Father time is undefeated and it’s wise to hold him off as long as you can, male or female. The whole HGH gut and vascular look is a far cry from the days of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s aesthetics, so be mindful.

An Example of a Terrible Job!

Who would want to clean toilets for a living?!

What a shitty job!

The Noises Steaks Make When You Pan-Fry Them

“Boo! Yeah!”

It’s like a damn WWE match!

Get a steak out, salt and pepper it up with whatever else you want to season it with, put it in a skillet on medium heat and let it go!

Pat it down. Listen to the noises as you pat in different places.

WWE-style “Boo! Yeah!” cadences.

Incest isn’t Best!

Incest isn’t best.

It’s only a necessary option when you’ve had one too many (beers or shots of hard liquor), your cousin looks halfway good and down for doing the dirty.

I suck ass at humor.